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Intellectual Jokes😂😂


Q: Marriages are made in heaven,
then what are made in Hell? 
Ans : the days after marriage 

Q: During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom is made to sit on the horse ? 
He is given his last chance to run away. 

I wrote ur name on the sand ..............
it got washed away, 
I wrote ur name in air.......................... 
it got blown away, 
So i wrote ur name in my heart............. 
I got a HEART ATTACK 

LOVE is like a CIGAR 
It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in ashes... 
But dont worry - we are chain smokers 

Your smile can be compared to a flower 
Your voice can be compared to a cuckoo 
Your inocence to a child 
but in stupidity 
You have no comparison 
You are the best 

True love is like a pillow
You can hug when u r in trouble 
Yoi can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy 
So when u need true love 
Spend Rs.50/- Buy a pillow

Dear Friend,
When I ask you flower, 
Yoi give me bouquet 
When I ask you a stone 
Yoi give me a statue 
When I ask you a feather 
Yoi give me peacock 
ARE U REALLY DEAF ? 

I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK 
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK 
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK 
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!! 

When i call u; 
1 ring means i'm thinking of u; 
2 ring means i like u; 
3 means i miss u; 
4 means .........pick d phone idiot 

Teacher : Four beautiful ladies are walking on the road. change it to exclamatory sentence ... 
Student : WOW ! 

The human brain is most outstanding thing....... 
It functions 24hrs 365 days..... 
It functions right from the time u r Born....
Until you fall in love 

SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality
SO....
Brush ur Teeth today onwards 

A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min.. 
A beer shortens your life by 4 min.. 
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!.. 

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ? 
Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir.... 

Teacher : You failure ! At your age Bill gates stood first in the class 
Student : Mind you, Sir, but at ur age Hitler commited suicide
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